"The Gay Guy" (That feels better) I Said it

The first person I struggled to come out to was myself. I remember thinking that something was different, but it's hard to say if that was just normal feelings that everybody has or if it had something to do with me being gay. When I was in year 8 it was mostly a sexual thing. I would get turned on by things that would make me ashamed. Some how I was able to find a friend during this years that would understand me, at least somewhat. His name was Joe and he was my first crush.
It wasn't until year 8 though that I started to consider that I might be gay.I convinced myself that if I looked at enough naked men I could become immune to being gay. I would spend hours and hours exhausting all the free male pornography I could find.A few months after that, and probably because of it, I became much more laid back and sociable. I found myself having friends every where I went and since I actually was being social people started asking me personal questions and that’s when I started becoming known as a “gay guy”. But it’s all cool I don’t really mind it, lol because I am a gay guy.

Coming Out To Myself!

I WALKED ALONE...
I walked the streets alone and cold.
Wanted someone to hug me, Someone I could hold.
I walked the road alone and afraid.
Of what I had done. 'What had I just said?'.
I walked a path alone and confused.
My thoughts all spend, My feelings used.
I walked down a hall alone but true.
That's when I met friendship, That's when I met you.

I am trying hard not to kiss you.
I am trying even harder to not be with you.

I keep on covering my heart with lies.
Smothering it, I don t know why?

I need to tell you that I am attracted to the same sex.
Will you think of me any less?

I need to free myself and find peace.
I need to try and understand all of this.

I just want to be accepted like anyone else.
To be respected and not shadowed in doubt.

I need to come out
Even if it is to myself.

Comming Out

Ok, here's my deal. I'm really like, fine with being gay I'm actually FINALLY accepting it and it's like I feel better about it. Well anywho, I'm really wanting to tell my little group, because, all my life I've had the 'gay' rumors around and stuff, but always denied it, (kinda still going to until I feel comfortable) but now, being in unlimited with different friends it all feels different.

So anywho, my friends, they've trusted me with SOOOOOOOOOOO much like, some of no one would suspect or anything, and I've shown my loyalty and they've given me so much trust and gratitude and shown that they've sincierly care. (well one, it's a diff storiee but i'll go into that in a few.) and like, something inside is telling me to tell them they'd be a little shocked because, I've like denied it for the past school year since they've met me. But, now, I'm just like slowly feeling this need to just BE FREE! (w. them) The girls, are the ones I'm not too worried about only a little but not much, but the guys, mmk here's where the one that's different comes in. He's befriended bi guys in our school, one of them is only just a school thing, one..idfk about him, but he's what i say is the media gay, where all emos have to be bi or w.e. and he doesn't act different around him, or any of the others. and he does the little sexual gay jokes with friends and stuff, and he's never shown any serious (to my knowledge) hate against gays and all. But, it's just like I want to tell him ,but I'm nervous that he'll change his entire self around me because, all the touchyness or my personality period or just being there would cause discomfort. And, I've grown a little attachment to him so if I lost him as a friend it'd hurt, (i know lot to say for a couple of monthes but it's just a lot of the making a friendship.) He's trusted me with a lot too and I've prooven myself to be a good friend to him he says, but it's like saying and doing are two different things and I'm scared as hell to say anything to him. Well I hope that I can just have a good summer break and enjoy things, but first christmas.

I have always felt this way

Since I was a child I have always felt that curiosity for the male body, and while I was a few years younger that curiosity just grew and grew. At first I thought of it just as that, curiosity. I came to check gay porn and I continue to do it, it just turns me on more than "normal porn"

But I wanted to experiment, check other guy's bodies, see them nude, have sex with them. I had oral with someone and liked it, probably want to do it again.

I don't remember exactly when I first knew I was gay, but I do remember that the thought of sex with other boys always excited me.
But I really knew that I was gay when puberty began. I felt an attraction toward the other boys and I was curious to find out what they were like.

I think am gay No!! I know I am GAY!!!!!!!!!!!

My earliest sexual memories date back to when I was 12. I remember staying up late watching our non-existent porn channel trying to catch a nipple through the static. This turned me on and I masturbated to it. I also discovered porn at this age, and from the ages of 12-15 I masturbated to gay porn. One night, I was at a friends house. We were daring each other to show ourselves on his webcam, and finally we both did. We masturbated each other that night.. along with other guys.

When I was younger,
I saw a house burn down
And I walked past it every day
for the next six years.
Derelict, Black, Chalky and Dangerous,
I wondered if squatters lived there?
There weren't any parties though
cause they were shit
After a while, the council got round to tidying up the town
making it less offensive here and there
they said it was an eye-sore,so they tore it down.
Behind the house, there was a wall with some crappy grafitti
and the word cunt written on it in massive letters.
And now I walk past that.

Don't you want to share the guilt?

I Won't Be Crying

I have been going with this new guy Jack. Ya know....its amazing because there is always one thing I am right about...with every guy there is always a catch no matter what....no cell and not being on time...yea that is what I am dealing with right now. He is a great guy and loves me to death and worships the ground...but sometimes I wonder...if he really puts me first in his life...He always says maybe to things...never yes or no to the "Are we going to hangout tonight?" question. And with him maybe usually means no b/c SOMETHING always comes up and I am getting sick of it...but maybe one day we will hangout...I guess if I love him I just have to deal with it....I just can't forget about Joe. He is always with me where ever I go and what ever I think about. I don't think this thing with Jack is going to work out.

The Kiss

He thoughtfully pulls his hair back from his eyes, allowing me a better view of them. I drift into their abyss, losing myself in them. The sensation driving all reason from my mind, nothing else matters. His lips part, and a single word slips out; my name. His soft voice sends a shiver down my spine, his intense stare, giving me he chills. I lean in, my lips parted slightly, he does the same. His lips are perfect; they look so smooth, so soft, so welcoming. My eyes close, our mouths touch, warmth shoots throughout my body. He is shaking a bit, and he withdraws slowly. My eyes open, and lock with his. There is a glow of fiery passion in his eyes, his very want, his need showing through. He lets out a soft grunt, the sound of a caged animal, wanting more of the long awaited meat. He leans forward, more quickly this time, and forcefully pushes his lips against mine. I surrender, allowing myself to be pushed onto my back. The cold cement floor forces my back to arch into his warm pulsating body. His warm tongue probes its way into my mouth. the sweet flavor of his mouth sends my heart into a frantic race. I pull myself closer to our already touching bodies, pure carnal desire pumping through both of us. He violates very crevice in my mouth. I inhale with surprise as he drives my back into the cold floor. The feeling drives a moan from my throat sending him into a primal frenzy. he thrusts his body into mine and educates me of his now tighter pants. I wrestle his tongue until he retreats, I eagerly follow. The hot wetness of his mouth is intoxicating. I run my fingers through his soft hair and pull him down into me. I drag my tongue across his bottom teeth and bite his wet lower lip. I slowly let it escape from my teeth and come back up to met his moist swollen lips. I push into them and inhale with exhausted pleasure. I rest my head against the ground and look up into his face. He opens his beautiful eyes. He deeply looks into my eyes and smiles. He sighs and quietly says "wow", as I drag him down for more.